I've been pretty insecure of myself

Doubting if I'm even suited to a functional lifestyle if I ever will have a paying job and like it and will survive here and not have to return even though I was miserable there life seemed easier and I really need to feel like I'm worth something

Like I could do stuff good and been payed for it 

Sometimes my anxiety overcomes me and doesn't let me act and everything I do seems so meaningless and stupid as if I'd never achieve anything and I'll be miserable and have an unfulfilled life and if I choose to be happy I'll starve anyways and always wondering if I took the right path what would have been like to study something like veterinary or something related to animals would I be less anxious? Why I've to be like this and don't like anything about how I am right now and be so pitiful and useless

I had to take a pill and they're going to run out and here I am without money for therapy hahah just kill me