Yesterday i was feeling AWFUL, horrible

I cried at work and tbh didn't wanna do ANYTHING the rest of the day

So I took 2mg of alprazolam I slept until today

And I woke up on time without an alarm after sleeping so much

Feeling so well :) so light

Nothing bothered me in that moment

"Oh, if only I could feel like this every morning"

To wake up in a leve state, to want to stay at my bed but no problem on getting up and go to work on time :) 

I'm feeling just so okay with all today

Hopefully it will last a bit and be able to do someore work when I get home

To look for a new job as i got fired and maybe enjoy myself a bit too :)

Hopefully it will be a good day today! :)

I've been quite happy with me and my life lately!

Has been awesome achieving what I've done 

I live comfortably in Providencia, I work on a job that I mostly like 

Although I've to get really really early for it, doesn't pay that much but is okay i guess 

I've been good out s lot snd being very social

I like that, but I've come to my limit

Also, therapy has helped me a lot with my self-esteem, but I need to keep working in my boundaries because they're inexistent 

I love myself, but I wish i could follow through i. All the Situations and be consequent with what i want 

I met Araceli, she's a wonderful person :) 

I sadly miss out in her last day pf work with us 

I wanted to congratulate her and accompany her but 

Sometimes I exceed on alcoholic and drugs and couldn't follow all the way to work that day and if I want I'll look ridiculous and be crying all day

Idk why i was feeling So badly that day 

I'm still am

Well after two months of feeling the best person that ever existed, sad but thstt feeling couldn't last forever , I wish tbh 

So overall I'm doing awesomely :) 

I just need to organize better with finances and be honest with my own needs, be consequent, and I'll be fine ,

Pase una buena noche con Carlos

Me gusto mucho

Me costó mucho despertarme 

Me siento un pcpo mal pry lo ansiosa que me pone llegar tarde al trabajo

Carlosny yo tenemos nuestras diferencias but 

I don't know if thid is gonns work mid-long term, I want this to work 

I really like and enjoy being with him  the attention snd "love he gives me 

Altho i feel if thst i don't have that like

Scape in my lofe from time to time I'll just break down

He's really sweet 

I also feel bad but because of me

Just because i wsntedy rot spend more time there with him

And 

Well

yeah

Should I tell someone that yesterday I tried to kill myself

Estoy pensando y considerando muy seriamente En matatme

Killing myself

I can't keep on existing

Por primera ve en mas de 5 años me corté

Hoy tomé dos miligramo de alprazolam y medio un poquito y un poquito de hongos y voy a tomar dos vasos de mimosa y espero poderme ir a dormir pronto

Diria que ojalá no despierte pero se te voy a despertar así que ojalá que cuando despierte me sienta menos mal