i am tired of others 

I AM TIRED OF MYSELF

It does not matter how much I rest, 

Often it feels like I am always feeling bad, 

I am always feeling anxious somehow,

I am always in need to lay down,

Like I am not having enough sleep, 

I don't have much energy in general,

I get tired easily,

I feel guilty when I depend too much on others, 

I feel like a weight,

I don't like how I think,

I don't like how I look, eventho I look good even gorgeous, 

But I how I feel does not correlate with that reality, 

I am tired

of myself

overall

I feel like shit today

I am more of a shot than a person

I'm beyond uncomfortable

I don't like how I feel, I don't like how I look, 

I am late to work and still at the bus

I am anxious, I've my period and is uncomfortable

I wanna puke I wanna cry 

I might be a bit disregulated 

I FUcked up

 I really need to be honest with myself 

and other around me 

I fuecked up and this does not have just a solution but rather work if I want to make it right

Ijustkindawannadieforawhilenowbutthathasnothingtodowiththisfuckedupthingidid

I am sorry, please hate me 

 We should not skip the aftercare 

About happines

I've been living with my boyfriend for a couple of months now, 
He is David and he's very sweet, very motivated and all handome and soft

I've had various doubts on my side as if I were ready to be in another relationship or if I was even emotionally avaible, or if that was a good idea to live with him and so on, but all has been turning out great tbh, we all have our issues and I need to work on my managing of anger and frustration, but overall I feel happy and in peace with him.

Altho I think love is something you construct, like, it does not come from nowhere, and might be a bit of a different view of David who was eager to say I love you since very early in our relationship, I do say it and I do mean it but not yet just in the way I believe is my level of loving, altho we're getting there, idk if that makes sense but, yes.

I want to help him feel as in peace and happy as I am with him.

today :)

Today I woke up feeling grateful in life

I woke up with some purpose

I woke up with someone I love and loves me by my side

I got to have some peace before leaving to a new job ( is my 2nd day omg)

I woke up in peace today

And I'm grateful for that